Master Bedroom Makeover (with Before and After photos)

For Valentine's Day, I redecorated my bedroom as a surprise for my husband. Yesterday, while the wind howled outside, he and I painted our room.  

Because we are DIY rock stars (in our own minds). 

In an Instagram frenzy, I photographed (sometimes in an endeavor to NOT start painting, because starting is the suckiest part of any DIY project) a bunch of pictures of our process and the finished product to show you. Today I'll share the "after" photos, and in a different post I'll show you a few behind-the-scenes glimpses of our work in progress and also offer a few pointers, in case you have "paint a room with hundred-year old plaster walls" on your spring to-do list. 

We did the red walls and the decor scheme you see here in our room when we got married almost eight years ago!!!  It's so time for  a new look.  I way-incredibly-loved the red walls in 2005.  We had a red living room also, which we painted over a couple years ago.  I'm over it. 

What I want now for our room is a fun, playful, inspiring space 

where we can enjoy our time together.  

So much of life is serious.  I want our bedroom to be fun. 

Everything I chose makes me smile.  

Saturated color. Sparkly sequined pillows. 

Wild floral textiles from India. Bold trellis pattern on the drapes. 

And the humongous, acid yellow gourd lamps. LOVE the lamps. 

On each night stand is a shimmery satin Ikat frame holding wedding day photos.

We are embracing all things new, but we always look back to the moments we laid the foundation of this beautiful life together. 

We have an 1896 Victorian home, and this baby doesn't have a "master suite," but we love the character in old homes here in Maine, so we roll up our sleeves and add the modern elements we love one room at a time, and we try to keep as much of the integrity of our old home in tact as possible.  

See the pretty wide plank floors?  Our other bedrooms have floating wood laminate over them, but ours we kept original.  I love it!

I'm really thrilled to see how the globally inspired textiles and colors work so perfectly with the very ornate, traditional furniture we had. The balance and contrast is interesting.  Plus it makes me not-sick-of-the-furniture, which is good, because it's what we have. Warm gray walls showcase all the colors in the room really well. 

One of my favorite things about design and fashion right now is that we can play with color, pattern, and line to make something very eclectic and chic.  We can take elements of style from different countries and different periods of design and pull all our favorite pieces to make something unique.  

(Not to mention that I'm SO excited about neon making a comeback.)

In my decor, I use a lot of symmetry, which is a traditional element (or perhaps a reflection of my Type A personality).  Maybe my New Year's Resolution in 2014 should be "Try to decorate asymmetrically." I'm think I might be getting hives just thinking about it...)  

I try to avoid "matching" things, because I enjoy finding pieces that "go" (a fashion strategy a la What Not to Wear, which I apply to home decor as well). 

Pulling together pieces that don't "match" as much as they "go" can give your space a sense of having items that have been collected over time.  No one has to know you found them all for a bargain at one marathon HomeGoods shopping spree, right?

Thanks for taking a look at my new bedroom!  I'd love to know if you have a decorating project underway and what items or colors make you smile in your favorite places.

How to get rid of Mommy Envy. Plus my messy-house photos.

I'm going to tell you a little secret.

Ok, it's not that much of a secret.

Sometimes I think other moms are WAY more together than I am.  

Ever feel like that?  

We open our Facebook and read status updates from friends who have already made homemade bread, read the Bible, exercised and cleaned the house before 6:30am and without coffee.  

And we feel a little bit inferior.  

I can't remember the last loaf of homemade bread I made. 

I can't remember the last time I exercised.... was it last fall? 

It's almost 9, and I'm still in my pajamas. 

My house is not looking Pinterest-worthy.

However, I did wake up at 5, so I could read in the quiet. I've been trying to do this lately, because it's the only hour of solitude available.  It occurred to me, however, that losing one hour of sleep a day is approximately equal to losing an entire night of sleep each week.  That was depressing.

Even with my extra hour, I spend a lot of my day feeling like I'm chasing my tail. Know what I mean? 

It's like a never ending cycle.  

Clean. Turn around. See mayhem created by four-year old in nearby area, which was cultivated while I was cleaning previously mentioned space.  Clean that new mess.  Turn around. Repeat.  

If you can tell me how to bake bread without my house getting turned upside down, please leave detailed instructions in the comment section below.  

We girls put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect.  It starts somewhere in middle school, and it lingers into our mommy-years if we aren't careful.  It started for me with needing the right handbag in 6th grade (I didn't get it).  And as an adult, I felt nervous to have friends over for dinner, because I wasn't sure my cooking was super-fab.  Or if I would be interesting enough to talk to.  

And becoming a wife and mom opens a whole new world of less-than ways for us girls to feel.  Bottle or breast? Cloth or disposable? Full-time homemaker or full-time job? Homeschool or public school or private school? Is my house clean enough?  Is it decorated beautifully enough? Do I look cute enough even though I'm chasing preschoolers all day? How do all those other women do it so well, and I'm so imperfect?

So I'm going to lay it out: 

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.  ALREADY.

One of the best things about girlfriends is that we can be real.  

A meal shared is perfect, when it's something simple or something fancy. 

Paper plates and pizza on the couch is as fun as a "tablescape" and china. 

(I recently poured drinks for friends in the kind of plastic cups you get on an airplane, and I marked names in marker.... My husband did make fun of this.  And the marker smudged, so we used real glasses.... but you know something?  Whatever.)

Visiting with a friend in a home that is welcoming is more fun than visiting less often in a perfectly tidy house. 

I love decor, design, creating a fun and beautiful environment, and I usually have a pretty clean house.  

That being said, there are 3 (or more) kids here all the time, and this place is lived-in. 

You don't need to have Mommy Envy toward me, friends. 

Or toward anyone else. 

Even the moms who can get up and get a bunch of stuff done really early.  

The ladies we see from our perspective as super-moms or super-wives.... those are our sisters who have struggles and imperfections, too.  

We have to remember that we all have clutter piles somewhere. 

We all feel like we "should be" more than we are some days. And we all need to remember that our friends love us, imperfections and all.  In fact, I bet some of your favorite things about your girlfriends are the little imperfections that make us real and relatable. 

My friend Lauren blogged about showing the spaces we don't normally want company to see.  You should pop over to her blog, because she is a lot of fun, and she's super-real.  Her idea inspired me to show you my "real, right this minute" house.  

Would you like to join us in sharing some "real"? 

Go to the Facebook Page, and post a photo or a blog link! 

We can banish envy and encourage community by keeping it real, girls. 

Now I'm mulling over the other "real" we could share... faces before makeup.... oh heaven help us.  I don't think anyone's ready to see photos of me like that... it may be just way too much real.   

DIY antique desk transformation. The very, very beginning.

Yesterday, I hunted down some fabric at Marden's. If you are a Mainer, you know Marden's... if not, imagine a giant yard sale inside a warehouse, where there is some stuff that's not really great and then some things that are total treasures.

I once found a Gucci suit at Marden's for $125.  True story.

I didn't buy it, and it goes into the category of purchases-I-should-have-made, alongside the tres chic Cole Haan boots with little metal studs that I walked away from in 2009 and which my husband brings back to my attention every time I like something and tell him, "I don't think I'll get it."

His response, "Is this going to be another Cole Haan boot situation?  Just get (fill in the blank: it, them, those, that)."

So anyway, yesterday I was fabric hunting, because:
*Marden's has a killer supply of fabric.
* I have zero experience with fabric-related projects (ok, not zero, but like practically-zero... if sewing 3 handbags in 2002 counts).
* I don't like to waste money.
* Going to Jo-Ann Fabric gives me an anxiety attack, because it overwhelms me visually, and I don't know enough about what I'm doing to do anything but wander around in an overloaded stupor.

I found a black-on-black animal print fabric that's fairly subtle but modern, and I'm planning to re-cover the seat of my antique desk chair.  I have always hated the burgundy that was on it when we bought it. Not fun enough to live next to the wild yellow couch.

I had a way-amazing time with my friend last week being mentored in how to upholster, so I need to jump in while I'm all fired up.  I may paint the chair and table, but I may not.  

Lately I'm having a creativity bug. 

Winter in Maine is so long, and being a stay-at-home mommy sometimes doesn't allow for much of that quiet space for imagining and creating and making art. So I'm trying to build that back in. 

So, I'm intentionally and diligently adding "creating art" back into my life. 

Is there art in you? 

Unless we make space for it, it won't get created. 

Nobody else will make the art that is swirling in your imagination.  

The dreams that keep you up late and get you up early, those are your gift to yourself.  

And to us. 

So me, I'm starting with my chair.  I'm going to re-make it.  Change it into something that expresses some of who I am.  I am going to make that little corner of my living room prettier, and in doing that, my home will have a little splash more sparkle.  

Maybe it's just fabric, or just paint, but it's something new.  

A little transformation.  And that always feels good to our souls. 

What would you like to create?  What swirls through your heart, friend?  Do you make time to invest in creating?  

Saying goodbye to our Bulldog. Change is bittersweet.

Over the past couple weeks, we wrestled a lot with what to do with our English bulldog Pops.  You've heard me gripe about him, but anyone with a dog will tell you dogs will sometimes drive you nuts.

But I love that goofy-looking guy.  Snoring and farting and all.  He possesses a certain charm. Really.

His torn ACL created a real problem for us, because even though he didn't seem to be suffering with it, he needed a lot more pampering and a lot less playing. 

"Less playing" is hard to accomplish in our house. 

My husband decided that Pops needed to have a "retirement home."  It was not an easy decision. 

Have I told you how much that man adores that bulldog?  

It's serious.  Like, total adoration, people.

We posted Pops' info on some rescue sites, and good grief, if we didn't get every wackadoo person (ok, some of them were probably nice) emailing and calling!  

Heaven help anyone using online dating if trying to find a normal-ish person for our bulldog is so ridiculous. That's all I can say.

Last week, in the midst of all this home-hunting for Pops, we very spontaneously welcomed a new member to our family:  Rigby Donkey Doodle Wheeler.  Rigs is a Goldendoodle puppy.  He is a hoot.

For a few days, we had all 3 dogs, and really truly they did great.  Pops is a natural with "kids."  He didn't care if Rigby was in his crate or pestering him.  I should learn to be more like Pops. 

Last week we found a really perfect home for Poppa through a couple friends.  Our kids said goodbye, and we took photos that no one can possibly see without choking up.  My hubby and I drove Pops to his new mama on Sunday.  

It's really hard to let go.  

In our hearts, we sometimes know it's time to make a change. 

To move through one season into the next. 

To let go of something or someone important. 

It's not easy stuff.  

My phone buzzes that a new text arrived.  

I click to open the message.

I see a bulldog lounging on a bean bag chair, snuggled up with baby blankets.  

He's in a barn, watching his mama work. 

I read the message. 

He sleeps in her bed (she is a saint to be willing to sleep within 45 feet of his snoring).

He loves going to work with her. 

I remember the things about Pops that make me smile.  His squinchy face.  His patience with puppies and children. His high maintenance emotions.  His trotting after my husband outside every summer, admiring him as he works.  

His bulldog smile. 

Pops climbing up the steps of the slide so he could slide down. Over and over. 

And over. 

Sometimes thinking about him makes me tearful.  (Ok, most of the time.)  

And Rigby can't fill Pops' shoes.  He isn't here to do that. 

No one can ever fill an empty space that someone else leaves. 

Our kids and ourselves, we just have to walk this out.

Silly 'doodle antics are fun, and we are enjoying all the good stuff going on here.  

Puppies will add sparkle to the day like nothing else. 

Goodbyes can live alongside hellos, and we just live with "both, and" not "either, or."

We have to feel our feelings, I think, in order to move forward. 

We're working on adapting to changes here.  

We're learning to think about what's best more than what's easy. 

Is there something YOU are working on letting go of?  Is there a change going on in your life?  What are some of the "goodbyes" and some of the "hello's" you have made?  

Why my bulldog has spent his life wanting his butt scratched and what I'm doing about it.

Big Poppa, our bulldog and the most stubborn creature I've ever known in all my life, is like a totally new dog.  You remember his "issues"? 

My friend Jess, who I've referred to as a dog whisperer, because she is magically brilliant in understanding dogs' communication, is actually a doctor unlike any veterinarian I've ever met.  (If she ever sees patients, I'm taking my animals to her and so should you - but anyway)

She came to consult with me about Pops, whose peeing and barking had put him squarely on my "naughty list." It turns out he has some dominance issues, which surprised me for some reason.  He's kind of passive-aggressive (this is my non-professional assessment), so he is bossy but with a kind, innocent look on his face all the while.  I had thought 100% that Mabel, my tiny little Maltese-mix was the boss around here.

Pops likes his butt scratched.  This is the whole reason we bought Mabel.  Not to scratch his butt, but because my little dog Fifi died and I had doggie-snuggle withdrawal and all I could ever achieve for affection from Pops was the arse-end of him offered for a scratch.

Come to find out, this is dominance.

Jess showed me how to lean over his back when he offers me his "poppa" (this is Russian for "bum" - something we learned in Ukraine, when our friend asked what the dog's name meant, because in Russian Big Poppa means "big butt," which also is very appropriate for him).  So now, I pat his face, then when he turns back-to, I lean over him.  He dislikes this and licks his nose, and sometimes he'll just wiggle out and then turn his butt back to me again, so I do the all-fours walk to lean over him again.

But even the first day of our new "homework" routine, Pops changed.

The goal is for him to let me pat his face, to know that I will have conversations face to face.  And he's starting to get it.  The first evening, the very first one, he began to stay facing me for pats!!!

This, friends, is near miraculous.  For six years, I have only ever had the invitation to scratch his butt.  Do you even know how happy his foolish face makes me!?  I had tears in my eyes.  Truly I did.... This dog has aggravated me to no end with his peeing and barking and his big bulldog butt, and now he's showing me that he can change.  And that he's not hopeless and that we can work our relationship out in a new way.

It reminds me of something my dad used to say sometimes about relationships between people:  That people are always "responding to" us.  And we have this amazing ability to change dynamics in our relationships by changing what we do, which can create a new response.

It's really powerful stuff to consider that we can affect change in our relationships.  There is something very hopeful about dogs.  They live in the now, they want to please, they are so forgiving.  I think that loving a dog moves a part of our hearts that spills over a gentleness and a hopefulness into the rest of our lives.

Pops still may be wanting to pee on the sofa.  I don't know this for sure.  As much hopefulness as spills over from his behind not continually backing into me, I still am not ready to let him near the couch. I probably need to be the "pack leader" with my leaning-over-his-back exercise a bit longer before we go there.  I'm sentimental about Poppa, but it has limits.  We'll get a good week or so of face-to-face chats before we try opening up the den again.

Bulldog Drama: The Notorious P.O.P.

(I couldn't resist the "Big Poppa" reference in the title.  If you were a 90's teen, you have that song stuck in your head.  If not, just never mind.)

We've had a week of bulldog-related drama here.  Good heavens, it's been crazy.

A week ago, I was about to lose my full mind (MY FULL MIND) because Big Poppa barked for almost an entire 4 hours.  If you need to break a person down mentally, just play a recording of a bulldog barking for 4 hours.  They will do ANYthing to make that stop.

If I had thought clearly enough to record him, I could have sold copies I'm sure.  For parents who've run out of constructive or effective discipline techniques, they could say, "Because you did such-and-such, you will now listen to 4 hours of bulldog barking," and I guarantee their child will never do said offense again.  It's torturous.

So, my hubby and I decided to try one of those electronic collars that zaps Pops a little every time he barks.  We had one years ago, because this in not a new problem.  I think Pops has so much neck-flab that he was able to shake it such that the zappy-thing was not on his voice box, rendering it useless.
(He's not as dumb as he looks.)

And because his neck is actually wider than his skull, I think he wrangled out of it and possibly chewed on it in an act of utter contempt.

Thus the new collar. The most expensive one they had at Petco.  I'm a frugal, penny-pinching girl.  But I was also desperate.

When Pops saw the collar he flattened himself out on the floor.
(I think he remembered the first one)

I put it on him, and not a single bark emerged from his mouth.  Not one.  He sat, jowls hanging, crooked underbite peeking out from below the tip of his tongue, which was sticking slightly out of his mouth.  This is the face he makes when he's not impressed.

The next day, I put the collar back on him, and he was very good all day.  Except at one point in the afternoon, Pops emerged from a nap in his crate unable to bear weight on his left hind leg.  He'd favored that leg at times but had always limbered up and walked normally again, but he's now been one week unable to put weight on his back leg.

Last Friday, after seeing his leg had been bothering him for a full day, we took him to the vet.  Taking a bulldog to the vet is not a one-woman job.  My husband came home to help, because bulldogs are not very agile creatures.  He's shaped a bit like a cinderblock (the dog, not my husband), so he's not so good at hoisting himself into the back seat in a pickup truck.

At the vet, Pops was admired by all. I've never seen a more mellow dog, really.  He has perfect behavior in public.  No one would guess that at home he is a chronic pee-er.  (This is a whole 'nother story.  Basically if it's fabric - ie. blankets, his bed, a bag of clothes for Goodwill, a throw pillow, even one certain cushion on the sofa which now needs to be taken to the cleaners - he will pee on it.) But at the vet's office he was a champ.  He politely introduced himself to all the other dogs, he lay with his floppy cheeks resting on the floor, tongue halfway out, eyes up toward my husband who is Pops' sweetheart.  Not a single man passed him who did not confess to always having wanted a bulldog.

In the exam room, he was fine.  But it was funny to hear all the staff just a few feet away, in the back of the office trying to get him up for a leg x-ray.  It took 3 people to get him to the machine.  And when he had to go back for shots, he walked just far enough that we could see him register that he was heading to the area of not-fun-stuff, and he turned abruptly toward my husband and screeched to a halt.  He is a stubborn guy (the dog, not my husband).

So Pops, as it turns out, has a torn ACL.  I don't know how that happened, but it seems pitiful enough that we returned the expensive bark collar, because we felt like maybe he was barking because his leg hurt.  We also suspect that if we just put a regular collar on him, he may think it's capable of zapping him for barking which might cure the problem for cheap (which is my preference).

Today, our friend and local dog whisperer is coming to give us a consultation on the peeing situation.  Because that is not cool, friends.  It is entirely not cool.  Jess is my ray of hope that Pops might not piddle on every blessed soft surface he can lift his leg on.

So I can't wait to know what my friend Jess will teach me about the peeing issues we're having at our house.  And she's one of the most fun, intelligent, interesting women I know, so I am really looking forward to spending some time with her.  We hung out and rode horses and chilled with her goose, Gertrude, and her sheep Daisy this summer.

Daisy must have just said something witty. 

Gertrude ("Gert-chert" as my 4yr old calls her)

Wish me luck, friends.  And keep Pops in your prayers, because he's a nutty old guy, but we love him to bits around here.  It's hard to see him not feeling like himself.

How to ditch the winter blues. (It's cheaper than therapy!)

Come on out of the cold, friend!  It's good to talk on the yellow couch again.  What a snowy, chilly day we're having here in Maine!

My post-Christmas sale-shopping shoe collection can't take much more winter.  Honestly.  I am ready for some un-sensible shoe weather.

It's so easy to get holed-up in the house on these blustery days.  At first (meaning for about one week, and only just prior to Christmas) it's cozy, but after a while I just feel like hibernating, which is not good for a girl's energy level.

This winter I have tried something new, which I am so encouraging you to consider.  It's super-easy and way cheaper than therapy for the late-winter-blues (or blahs).

It's called:
Plan A Coffee Date

Oh my word!  Can it really be that simple, you ask?
Why yes, yes it is.

As you know, I've had several years of this very annoying, style-cramping, energy-draining, sparkle-threatening physical aches and pains and occasional mental fog.  My doc says it's fibromyalgia, but I have had people with Lyme disease tell me that the symptoms are the same, so I'll have a screening for that. It seems there are also some food allergy things that cause similar feelings, so I'm exploring all the possibilities before I feel like tossing my hands up and saying, "ok, it's fibromyalgia."

I've fought against myself daily to just do normal things. But this winter something happened.
I became tired of waiting to feel "normal" to do FUN.

The FUN and the SPARKLE got yanked from the back of my priority list by the scruffs of their necks. They cannot hide anymore.  I am a girl on a mission to live FULLY right NOW.

You deserve that as well.  Your enjoyment of simple things needs to be given a valued space in your life.

Sometimes I have "Christian Woman Guilt."  You know.... I feel like if I'm doing something fun, it's not spiritual enough.  If I'm enjoying something beautiful, or giving myself time to be filled up or nurturing my creativity, I must not be emptying myself out enough and am therefore falling short in my faith.  God doesn't inflict this on me.  It's something I do to myself, and I have to be diligent to address it.  (There is probably more to talk about on this topic, but that's for another day.)

But that's not a full picture.
There are times to pour out, to be emptied, for sure.
But God made us with a spark of creativity that I believe is breathed into us by Him as a way to enjoy life.  And times of rest and nurture and FUN are precious.

This winter I have been making time for relationships.  We need each other, you know.
In my world, COFFEE WITH A FRIEND is the new black.

When was the last time you called a friend and set up a coffee date?
How many times have you said, "Let's do coffee?" and your friend says, "Yeah, call me." And you never call?  (Caught you!)  I have done that way too many times myself.

I've been building in coffee time with my girlfriends, and the benefit to my life is enormous.  While we sit, we laugh and we ponder and we share.  My heart is energized.  In a world of too-busy women, we need to slow down and set the busy stuff aside in order to enjoy the relationships.  We need to get away from the computer screens and the smart phones and sit across the table from each other and do life.

Is there someone you've been hoping to spend time with?  Grab your calendar and make a date.

Invest in a relationship.  
Linger over a second cup.  
Take time to breathe.  

It's good for you.  And it's way cheaper than therapy.